Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
