I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
