Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
