So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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