at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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