I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
