im having a threesome with these popsicles
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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