what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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