i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
