literally had 100 drinks last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry about my life...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
