I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
