Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
