I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
