a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
wow bdsm is so cute
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
