hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
