she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
