awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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