I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
