ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
