Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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