...so i touched it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
