dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
