he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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