You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
