i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
