Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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