everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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