I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
