I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
