11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
