is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
