I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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