All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
