You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
