And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
