VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
