nutella sex= disaster
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
