Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I need help removing her.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
