In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
