I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
