And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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