I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
