I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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