I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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