just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
