Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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