sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
