Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
