My pussy is not your playground.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
