I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
