The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
