I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
