I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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