im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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